הכרויות סקס|זוגות

I seem to be in a dark place at the moment. I see no way out.

I will turn 32 next month and I have never been in a relationship. All my attempts were ONS with the last one I met online never contacting me again after sex. I took time off dating to be with myself and it's been now 5 years in which I have never been approached by a man. I spent time with myself as some people say to focus on yourself. I travelled quite a bit on my own, invested in sports, went to theatres, museums, restaurants etc. I started reading more (SF at the moment) to develop myself. I changed my wardrobe and worked on my style. I even explored the whole manifestation world in which they tell you to already live in the end to get shat you want. I woke up last night at about 3 AM and couldn't fall back asleep thinking I am so isolated and started crying.

My job is to look after an elderly lady which I very much enjoy and am grateful for but means that since my schedule is 24/7 days a week, I only get a 2h break and I don't get to do much, don'tget to onow people. I only explore hobbies and stuff like that in some weeks I get off. In a weeks' time I will attend a tennis tournament which is the highlight of my year so far so I try and put myself out there the best I can. I feel without support because I haven't received any from my family. My father died a long time ago and my mum lives with schizophrenia so I feel no one is there for me.

I suppose this post is part venting, part asking for advice/reassurance.